it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
