my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
