meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
