You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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