If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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