He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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