Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
