I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
