just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
