Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He shit in the fireplace
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
