You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
