wrigley field is MILF paradise
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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