Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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