Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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