I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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