they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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