how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
