She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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