My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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