There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
