I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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