Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
