Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
