I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So. Much. Porn.
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