Nicole vs. Life
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
