Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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