The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
