kristin has been a bad kristin
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
