apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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