You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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