Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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