he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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