My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
