i think i have herpe
just one?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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