Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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