Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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