i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
