so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
