I accidentally had phone sex last night
Soap is not a condiment
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
