i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I love having hate sex.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
