P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
