He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I stole a fireplace last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
