She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
