I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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