Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The air was thick with penises
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
