The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
