your room smells of hookers.
And success
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
