Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
