She is in my trunk
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
