Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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