Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
