apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
