i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
