Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
