my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
